How To Manage Conflict? - Stick to the Specifics!

Many people struggle with managing conflict constructively, does this happen to be you. On some level or in some situations I believe it pertains to all of us. What is the fear? Well it's because all conflict is tainted with an accumulation of our past, how many of you have a healthy template for how to manage conflict? We begin to generalize our handling of previous situations as well as our perception of the patterned response of the other person. This is why it is significantly more difficult with family members and bosses. Here are 5 ways to prepare yourself for successful management if diffult situations.

1. What Is The Issue, Today?or maybe yesterday that needs to be discussed. Write down initially what you want to say and then weed out the parts of the discussion that pertain to the past or previous issues.

2. Stick With The Script - if the conversation begins to tail off either by your accord or the other person . Refocus and say if you want to talk about a separate issue could we set up a separate time to do so- this will give you an opportunity to prepare your thoughts and create another script.

3. What Are You Responsible For? Rember that you are responsible for your words not the words of the other person. Recogonize what you did correctly or what you had intended even if the other person doesn't respond the way that you would like.

4. Be As Specific As Possible..Don't assume that they knew what they did or that they did it intentionally. 

5. What About My Feelings?If you need to address your feelings about the situation begin with using the I statements- I felt, I heard you to say, I may have misunderstood. Also sit down and identify, explore your feelings related to the person and work towards the specific issues today. 

Conflict can be mad constructive, when it is about opportunities to communicate!